


find ourselves shelter again

by ShyAudacity



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath, Canon Divergence, Dad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Delirium, Episode: s03e03 Searchers, Exhaustion, Fix-It, Gen, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Just a small bit, Missing Scene, My First Work in This Fandom, Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, Queerplatonic Relationships, Worry, post tsunami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 02:31:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21348799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyAudacity/pseuds/ShyAudacity
Summary: Buck takes Christopher from the woman without really thinking about it or looking at her. Christopher’s eyes are watery when Buck looks down at him; he’sterrified. Buck holds him impossibly close, holding the back of his head.“I’m sorry,” he says into Christopher’s wet hair. “I’mso sorry.”ORA fix-it fic where Buck found Christopher right before Eddie showed up.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Others, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 27
Kudos: 1236





	find ourselves shelter again

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still fairly new to this fandom so go easy on me please and thanks xx.
> 
> Unbeta'd and title from Saint Honesty by Sara Bareilles.

It is, by all means, a miracle that Buck even sees her- the woman carrying Christopher. If he hadn’t hung up on Maddie when he did- if he hadn’t turned around, he might have never found Christopher. Buck wouldn’t have noticed the woman who kept Christopher safe while they were separated-. 

But he would recognize that brown patch of hair and yellow shirt anywhere. It’s all that he’s been able to think about since he turned around and Christopher _wasn’t_ on the truck where he had left him. The fear he felt in that moment, it was unlike anything else he had ever experienced before. All-consuming and threatening to break him in two.

Seeing him now, less than ten feet away, Buck finally feels like he can breathe again. 

_Oh, thank God. _

Buck feels his legs nearly give away as he rushes forward, already stretching his arms out. “Christopher?”

His little, anxious voice comes from the woman’s shoulder. “Buck!”

Buck takes Christopher from the woman without really thinking about it or looking at her. Christopher’s eyes are watery when Buck looks down at him; he’s _terrified_. Buck holds him impossibly close, holding the back of his head.

“I’m sorry,” he says into Christopher’s wet hair. “I’m _so sorry.”_

Christopher bunches up Buck’s damp shirt in his small hands. “You found me,” he says, his voice tired. “You found me, Buck.”

Buck wants to protest, but he’s not about to fight with an eight-year-old. They’re both exhausted, Buck, especially; soaked down to the bone and running on fumes. He feels like he could cry out of pure relief, but he thinks that might just scare Christopher more. Buck settles for sitting on the sidewalk and holding him, taking a second to catch his breath before they have to pick up and move again. Try to find a way home-.

A familiar, equally panicked voice comes from behind them. “Christopher?”

Shit. _Eddie_.

Buck picks up his head and Eddie is coming right towards them. He drops to his knees, already taking Christopher from Buck and looking him over. “What- I don’t understand. What are you doing here?”

“We were down at the pier,” Buck says, trying to be strong. “When the tsunami hit. We- we saw the whole thing.”

Eddie pales a little but his face doesn’t falter. He gives Christopher a once over. “I should get him looked at- Chimney! I need you!”

Buck staggers to his feet, watching as Eddie carries Christopher away from him. All of his instincts are screaming at him to follow the pair, but he can’t. He’s not sure he can even move right now.

He doesn’t realize he’s slipping- literally and mentally- until someone steadies him. Buck looks up and finds his crew all around him, all of them sharing concerned faces. He opens his mouth, ready to ask _what are you guys doing here_ but instead he starts to cough, harsh and painful. It takes away what little strength he has left, making him weak in the knees.

In a second, more than one pair of arms brace him again, gently guiding him to the ground. A voice that sounds a hell of a lot like Hen says, “Easy, _easy_, Buck. It’s okay. We got you.”

Her arm stays around him even after he’s seated on the ground and Buck is grateful for it. His hands are shaking in his lap when he looks down at them. Despite feeling more than one kind of foggy, he can’t stop thinking about Christopher, wondering if he’s okay, worrying if he’s still safe. It barely registers to him that time is still passing, that his team is still there, moving around him and looking him over.

_I need to find Christopher. I need to make sure he’s okay. _

_Eddie is never going to forgive me for this._

Buck doesn’t realize that he’s flat on his back until he sees the stars above him, glinting in his eyes. Though he can’t see his crew, he can hear them hovering around him doing only god knows what.

Bobby comes into Buck’s line of vision, his figure blurry. “Buck. How did you cut your arm?”

Try as he might, Buck can’t come up with a solid answer. “I don’t- I can’t remember.”

“That’s alright. We’re going to have to wash it out so it doesn’t get infected.” A hand closes over the top of his own hand, another touching the top of his arm. “This is going to hurt.”

Before can ask what Bobby means by that, there’s a sharp, stinging pain coming from his wrist. He groans and thrashes in pain, trying to get away from the feeling. It feels like someone set his hand on fire.

“I know, I know. Just give it a minute. The pain will fade.”

Buck breathes heavily, feeling like his mind is running a million miles a minute while his hand is being bandaged. He can hardly think straight. His hands grasp at the concrete below him, trying to find leverage to pull himself up. He has to get up, he still has to find Christopher-.

“Lost,” he mumbles. “I- I lost him.”

Bobby asks, “Lost who, Buck?”

“Chris- lost Christopher.”

“He’s not lost. Christopher is fine, Buck; Eddie’s got him.” 

Buck wants so badly to believe that that’s true but he can’t because he can’t actually _see_ Christopher. All he sees is the sky and glimpses of his team hovering around him. He tries to get up again, but he doesn’t have the strength. “I need- I have to see him. I have to _get up_.”

Thankfully, someone hears his pleas- Hen, he thinks. A warm hand curls around the back of his neck and another finds the inside of his uninjured arm. Gently, the hands guide Buck into a sitting position. It takes him a minute, but Buck finally finds him; Christopher is ten feet away, asleep on Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie is rocking Christopher gently where he stands, talking to a firefighter that Buck doesn’t recognize. Buck sighs in relief; if it weren’t for Hen still sitting behind him and keeping him, upright he’s sure he would’ve hit the ground.

If feels like a lifetime before Eddie looks over at him, his eyes going wide at the sight of Buck. Eddie nods to whoever it is he’s talking to, then walks over to where Buck is. There’s an unreadable look in his eye that makes Buck feel like he can’t breathe all over again.

_Please. Please don’t be mad at me, I won’t be able to take it. _

Eddie drops to a knee next to Buck, still holding Christopher against his chest. “He wouldn’t stop asking for you,” Eddie says quietly. “Honestly, I’m surprised he even managed to fall asleep.” 

Buck’s hands feel sluggish and heavy as they reach towards Christopher. “C-Can I…?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course, Buck,” Eddie says, already shifting to put Christopher in his lap.

Christopher’s small head slips against Buck’s collar bone and Buck raises a shaky hand to keep him there. Buck dips his own head, just breathing deeply for a moment- constantly reminding himself that all of this is real _you’re actually here and Christopher is fine_.

Buck finds himself relaxing even more when Eddie slinks an arm around his shoulder’s as well as Christopher. He sighs deeply and realizing that his whole body is shaking- the adrenaline leaving him, most likely. Buck can’t help it when his temple drops onto Eddie’s shoulder, feels grateful when Eddie’s hand comes up to hold the back of his head. The touching is grounding in a good way.

He can feel his eyelids growing heavy. Buck couldn’t stop himself from drifting off even if he wanted to. He knows that he should get up and go home- or try to, at least- but he can’t. He’s bone-tired and teetering the edge of spiraling out of control. His best bet is just to sit here a little longer and hope that this nightmare will end eventually. Maybe the next time he opens his eyes the whole world will be different-

Maybe none of this is even real.

Above his head, he hears Eddie quietly say, “Thank God for you, Buck. I don’t know what I would’ve done if Christopher was lost for good.”

Buck wants to correct him, say,_ “he almost was”_ but he’s already out, dead to the world. Already getting a head start on putting this god-awful day behind him, attempting to erase it from his memory.

If only it was that easy.

**Author's Note:**

> Might be a second part to this but I'm not sure yet. 
> 
> Thanks for reading my fic! Comments/Kudos are appreciated and encouraged. Have a great day!


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